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Originally published January 29, 2014 at 9:27 PM | Page modified January 30, 2014 at 2:29 PM

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Crash course on Seahawks, Super Bowl is easy as 1-2-12

The Seahawks’ bandwagon is filling up fast, but there’s still room for you even if you don’t know Russell Wilson from Richard Sherman. We’re here to help with a primer that will make you talk like a 12th Man.

Seattle Times staff

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Wonder why there is a huge banner with a big “12” decorating the hallway of the Swedish Medical Group’s clinic near Green Lake?

Why Madison Park Bakery is cranking out doughnuts covered with green and blue sprinkles and cookies cut in the shape of jerseys, with numbers?

Why people in church this Sunday may be saying, “Go Hawks” instead of “Peace be with you”?

Why so many people all of a sudden seem so excited about a football game?

Well, this isn’t any old game. The Seahawks are three days away from winning their first Super Bowl in the team’s 38 seasons of existence and if they win, watch out. Smug, sophisticated Seattle will explode.

“The whole city is energized. Even I’m caught up in it,” said Dr. Ken Anderson, a longtime Seattle physician who installed the 12th Man banner at the medical clinic.

This kind of stuff doesn’t happen that often around here. If the Hawks win Super Bowl XLVIII, the celebration in Seattle will be right up there with the end of World War II and when the Sonics won the NBA title in 1979.

It’s something you don’t want to miss, even if you don’t know a handoff from a handout. So jump on board and be part of the Seahawks Bandwagon Team. There is plenty of room, nobody gets cut and everyone plays.

All you need to know are a few things to survive Super Sunday and walk and talk like that 12th Man that you keep hearing about. So let’s huddle up, especially if you don’t know what that means either.

No worries, learning stuff about the Seahawks, the Super Bowl and being a 12th Man fan is as easy as 1-2-12.

Be calm and confident like Seahawks QB Russell Wilson.

First of all, relax. This is the best way to win over the crowd at a Super Bowl party. Wilson says he owes much of his cool success to being prepared before each game.

You can do that, too, by making sure you have something to say at a Super Bowl party when things quiet down between all the cheering and arguments. Here are a few suggestions.

“There’s always next quarter.” (If the Seahawks fall behind in the first quarter.)

“Don’t want to peak too soon.” (If the Seahawks are behind in the fourth quarter.)

“Did I miss any good commercials?” (To many viewers, the Super Bowl commercials are interrupted by the game.)

“Denver’s defense plays like the 12th Mannequin.” (The Seahawks have the best defense in the NFL. The Broncos don’t. Exploit it.)

Argue like an All-Pro arguer.

This is a good way to keep a Super Bowl party lively. Get into an argument and take the wrong side, or make no sense at all.

If someone says “Peyton Manning is overrated,” come back with something like, “No, he’s not. Overrated is overrated.”

Be a fun-loving party guest.

Bring as many bags of Skittles as you can get your hands on to a Super Bowl party and then pelt the partygoers with them, crying out “It’s a Marshawn Halloween!”

Dress like a winner.

Don’t be a zero, be a football hero. Just checked online and found an official “Nike Russell Wilson Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl XLVIII Limited Jersey” for only $154.95. Hurry.

Show off your knowledge of Denver’s pathetic football history.

In earlier years when Super Bowl beatdowns were common, the big game was sometimes called the Subsuper Bowl, the Stupor Bowl and the Super Bore.

The Denver Broncos had a lot to do with that, being on the receiving end of two Super blowouts: losing 42-10 against Washington in 1988 and 55-10 vs. San Francisco in 1990.

Denver also lost a couple of other Super Bowls, and won two, but who cares.

Show off your knowledge of Seattle’s rich football history.

If Peyton Manning throws four touchdown passes in the first half and everyone is raving about him, sniff and say: “Big deal. I could do that, too, if I had five Steve Hutchinsons blocking for me.”

That should shut them up. Take my word for it, it works for me.

Good luck and have fun. We may never experience something like this again. But then again, we may experience it again next year.

Go 12th Man! Go Hawks!

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